BandMidget's Xanga

The Ronnie Answers A Question

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 02:05:05 GMT

That's right, the title is singular. Indeed, I will answer ONE question, because that's all I got this time. You have failed me, loyal readers... I waited extra time for more, but all I got was a single question. Of course, it is probably one of the most important questions anyone has ever asked me, so I guess everyone was just waiting so intently on the answer that they didn't want to try to take away from it by making me answer, say, TWO questions. Hopefully you all have more by next week. Until then, here is the question for this week:

Becoming a real man: Mustaches or Beards?
- Tony Minghi

I must admit, I have been mulling over how to answer this nonstop since I read it for the first time. There are so many factors to go into, and as you all know, facial hair is something I very much advocate. I think, in short, mustaches make you a man, but beards make you manly. Define as you wish the term "real man" to get your own personal answer.

In my experience, a mustache is something that teen boys everywhere brag about and groom to show off to their friends (and impress all the high school girls). In this manner, growing the mustache is one step into manhood, one step above the rest of the class. Once you can grow a mustache, you are respected, you are admired, you are revered among the prepubescent masses. The first mustache in the class gets the first real girlfriend. There is a common saying where I come from: "First mustache gets you to first base."

Beards, on the other hand (or chin), show true manliness. Once you and your group of peers reach the middle of your teen years, ANYONE can grow a mustache, so it's not as impressive. Sure, if you can grow it out Wyatt Earp style, the ladies will still be pouring in, but the average teen grows something a lot thinner and less impressive. Once you hit this period in your life, it's time to man up and to beard up.

While mustaches attract the ladies (think Clark Gable), the beard is what they all want. They see the mustache as a beginning, and if you can't deliver with a rockin' beard, they will surely leave you for a homeless man who can grow one. The beard outlines the face, bringing out the intensity of all of your features. The beard is a symbol of pure ferocity. A beard gives you the spirit of the noble lion. A true beard shows that you mean business. You don't mess with a man with a beard. There's a common saying where I come from: "A beard is to be feared."

So rock the beard and show your true manliness today! You don't see any ladies with beards, do you? I thought not! The beard is the very SYMBOL of manhood! Now, who wants to come admire my rockin' beard?

A Fan's Glimpse Into The Ronnie

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 19:09:34 GMT

Not a great turnout, but at least a few people responded, so I'll take it. My original plan was to update yesterday, but I slept later than expected, then I was just flat out lazy until I left for the radio show (I'm on every Sunday from 6-9. The Itch on 89.1 FM The Wood). Afterward, I just got distracted surfing the net (as I usually do). Anyway, I got two good responses... and then Scotti... I guess that'll do for part one of... hmm... I need to think of some awesome name for answering questions... Maybe some of you can help for next time. Anyway, here we go:

If you had unlimited resources to start a new collection or flesh out an existing one, what would you invest in and why?
- Tassy

That's actually a pretty good question. One part of me knows my addiction with buying movies, and that part says I'd want to buy as many movies as possible, and a giant room filled with shelves to put them all in. Of course, I always feel like crap because I see my stacks of unwatched movies, so if I walked into that room, it'd be pretty overwhelming, knowing that 90% of the movies in the room were still unopened and unwatched.

I think a better answer for me would be something like costumes or masks or crazy stuff to wear on occasions that demand it. Especially for conventions or theme nights at clubs (and even more especially for Halloween [more especially?]), it'd be nice to have a large selection of something awesome and unique to choose from. I'm thinking like, a closet that would put Lady Gaga to shame (oh my god, what am I saying?).

Semi-related to that, I sometimes get kind of obsessed with looking at suits of armor, and different wartime apparel from the past. I'd be the type who would totally throw on a suit of armor and go out into public, if the occasion fit. I've spent hours looking up suits of armor online, and separate pieces of armor, thinking "if only I had the money, I'd have a room full of this stuff." An offshoot of that, of course, is that I'd like a nice sword collection to match the armor. Of course, taking live swords into public is not exactly... um... smiled upon, to say the least, but it doesn't mean I shouldn't have them.

I could probably think of a handful of other collections I'd like to have (I get online sometimes and stumble across awesomeness all the time, and end up spending hours investigating), but for now, I'll just leave it at that. Now, onto question two:

1. What's your life goal (i.e. job, and hobbies you want to continue with)
2. Vamps or wizards (Twilight v Harry Potter)
3. What's the latest book you've read? Did you like it?
- Carolina

My life goal, I'd say, is to find a way to have fun, and to support myself in doing so. That's a very vague goal, but I say, if you're not having a good time in life, what's the point in it all? I mean, it'd be nice having an awesome job where all I do is have fun, but more than that, I just want a job that allows me the time (and spares me the energy) to go out and have a good time when I'm not on the clock. I'd take a boring office job that pays well if it meant I could go out on the weekends with my friends. I know I'm an adult now, two years out of college, but I missed out on the party scene when I was in my prime, so it'd be nice to be able to balance in a social life. I just finally stumbled into it the past couple years, and I'm not ready to let it go, yet.

As for the second question, I think I prefer real vampires (i.e. not Twilight), but wizards are awesome because I'm a big fan of magic (another collection I'd like to assemble). I think it'd be hard to decide between the two, because it really depends on the situations. There are a lot of good vampire movies out there, so they seem to be a lot more entertaining. I think it's because the stories behind the origins and such can be so interesting. Wizards are good as characters, but there really is no great origin of wizardry, no interesting lore that people build books and movies around. In that, I say that despite Twilight, I'd choose vampires for entertainment, but I'd rather BE a wizard.

The last book I read... was a long time ago... I've kind of been slacking on reading as of late. I have a stack of books I need to read, but always seem to distracted to do so. The last book I specifically remember reading was World War Z, all the way last summer. For some reason, I'm thinking I read something else since then, but I can't think of what it could be (not including books like my Bathroom Readers, where they are just a series of articles or the Bro Code, which is essentially just a list). Anyway, World War Z was pretty good. It's a series of interviews documenting the great zombie war. It's great, because it used a lot of realism, describing exactly how the zombie uprising started, how the humans coped with it, how they fought back, and how they ultimately won the war. It was almost like a history book of the war with the zombies. I felt like I was reading what actually happened. I'd recommend it to any zombie enthusiast. I'd recommend reading the Zombie Survival Guide first, though, because World War Z does make a few references to the guide itself (and is written by the same guy).

Next up on my book-reading agenda, sitting on my desk right now are the first three books in the Wicked series (Wicked, Son of a Witch, and A Lion Among Men). I plan on reading them eventually. I know once I pick them up, they'll fly right by. I'm a moderately fast reader, so I could probably hammer out an entire book in less than a week if I just put aside a bit of time every night, or maybe read during my lunches at work.

And now for the final question:

Why am I so awesome?
- Scotti

Well Scotti, there are many things that make me awesome. I mean, I have a rockin' beard. I listen to awesome music. I have great taste in movies. I've been told I'm like, the hottest guy alive. You know, the usual stuff that makes someone awesome. I've got it all. I'm the ultimate package of awesome, right here. I mean, can you really explain what makes a man, such as myself, so awesome? I think, while your question is a valid concern, nobody can truly answer it sufficiently. Science has not come up with a formula, yet, to describe how and why I am this way.

So thanks for all of the questions, everyone (all three of you). Submit more and I'll be sure to answer again. I think a weekly article would work, if I get a couple of questions a week. This went much longer than I was expecting, but that's what my fans want, so I didn't cut it down. I need plenty of material to keep you all satisfied until I return. For now, though, I'm going to put my socks in the dryer and watch Jeopardy while eating ramen. Fun times!

Revamp, maybe?

Sun, 11 Oct 2009 18:40:52 GMT

So as I'm sure you all have noticed (all 4 of you), I'm not a very good blogger. Instead of taking responsibility for this on myself, as a grown adult should, I'm going to blame all of you! Isn't that exciting? No, I'm not really blaming you, but I am reaching out to all of my devoted readers to help me out. My life is random and I rarely even remember to blog, because I have nothing specific to say. I need any and all of my readers to give suggestions, ask questions, give my hypothetical situations to ponder, and so on. If I get a couple of good suggestions, heck, even one a week, I could probably start updating WAY more than I have been.

Originally, this idea came from some friends who started a video blog, where they answered questions their friends gave them on video and cut it together and made a fairly entertaining video. They, like me, haven't updated in forever, though (struck down after only one entry?). I was planning on asking people for questions and suggestions for my own video blog, but with my computer sucking so freaking hardcore, editing video on here would most likely crash the entire thing. Maybe if I get a new computer, I'll video blog. I mean, technically, I could just do it in one take, but really, there'd probably be a lot of dead air and me saying "um..." every five seconds. You all know how I speak. It's not pretty. Of course, it's worse now, with my annual sore throat. I hate the cold, just because I always get a sore throat when it starts coming. My voice is probably 2 octaves lower (which I guess some might find kinda hot... right?).

So for now, this blog is still my random "hey, this is what's going on" blather, but if some of you can help me out, I think this blog could turn into something great! I could win awards, and when I go up on stage, I'll thank all of you, by name (since there are only like two and a half of you left).

In closing, I totally got my fedora signed by MC Chris. I'm that awesome. He then followed me out to my van (because he was parked on the other side of the fence I was parked in front of) and talked to us as we were standing there. I reiterate, I am that awesome.

My Fantasy World

Wed, 16 Sep 2009 21:52:44 GMT

For like the eight millionth time, I apologize for the lack of updates. I've just been so ridiculously busy recently. Not only did I get a girlfriend, but we also ended up driving to Vegas for a week and getting married. She's pregnant now, and little Ronnie IV will be here in just a few months. I got a job working in a big office building in the city. I still don't know what I do, but I get paid a solid six figures to do it. So far, I just sit at my desk and play escape-the-room games online for 8 hours a day. As I'm walking out the door, I'm thanked for my hard work and I'm on my way home in the company Benz that they gave me. On top of all of that, I've been busy working on my novel, a supernatural sci-fi samurai romance epic. I plan for it to be a trilogy. I've been in talks with Warner Brothers, who are so impressed by the treatment alone that they are already waiting for the screenplay. I, of course, will play my own lead, because only I truly understand what it is like to be in this universe I have created. I heard rumors that they believe my story will be so mindblowing, and so earthshattering that they are nominating me for a Nobel prize. Al Gore called me the other day to tell me all about it.

In other news, I live in a fantasy world. Other than the apology, I don't think a single word of that last paragraph was true in any form. I'm still single, working at Wal-Mart, broke, driving my busted van, no creative outlet, and no awards, yet. That's not to say my life isn't awesome, though, because it totally is. I go to the club every Monday, and people know me there. It feels good to walk in the door and have people excited to see me. The bar we go to on Tuesdays, Rue 13, is getting that way a bit now as well. Our bartender, James, has remembered us, and our drinks, for a few weeks now, and some random artist dude we met last time yelled across the bar to greet us. I seriously feel like I'm in a movie sometimes. I never pictured myself doing any of this stuff, but now that I'm doing it, it's sad that I didn't start earlier.

For those of you who are curious, I have posted pictures and videos of one of the crazier clubs I go to. It's not the number one craziest, but it's definitely pretty wild. My pictures are on my Myspace and Facebook (take your pick), and my videos are on my YouTube channel at http://www.youtube.com/user/bandmidget. I'm friends with pretty much everyone in the pictures and videos (at least the ones in the foreground), and we all know each other by name (well, for the most part, but that's a completely different funny story).

Changing the subject a bit, I'm in the process of getting a new job, it seems. I tested really high for a job with the department of social services. Right now I'm just waiting on the state to lift their hiring freeze so they can actually interview me. John, my old roommate and friend since high school, works there now and was the one who told me about the job. He said his manager told him that as long as my interview goes well (which I'm sure it will), I have a really good chance at being hired, and I'd be working right alongside John, which would be a sweet deal. The only downside (which I'll accept, as a grown-up) is that it's a normal 9-5 job, so going out to the club on Monday wouldn't work as well. I mean, I could still go, but staying out until 3 a.m. when they close, and going out to eat or hang out afterward (I got home at 6:30 a.m. this week), would be a bad idea. I think I could still make my appearance, stay until 12 or 1, and still get a decent night sleep, but I'm going to feel it out a bit first, to make sure I'd be able to handle it. If not, then I guess I'll just have to go out on the weekends like normal people, instead.

Anyway, I'm going to go change out my laundry, so I hope this blog holds you all over until I find time to do it again.

Sham On!

Wed, 19 Aug 2009 01:55:10 GMT

Sorry, yet again. Life is freaking insane as of late. I can't go into all the details, mostly because there are just too many to go into. Basically, over the past month or so, since my birthday, really, I've completely readjusted my life. Readjusted is a good word for it, I guess. I decided on my birthday that things would be different this year. The first week, as I previously mentioned, was a huge turnaround for me. I've still made it my goal to continue that trend, and so far, I haven't slacked. In two days, it will have been one month since I've turned 25, and overall, it may just have been the best month of my life (with apologies to former girlfriends, haha).

One thing I've been keeping a bit on the down-low is that as of a few days after my birthday, I left the church I was attending for the past 3 years. They've helped me become the man I am today, but recently, I haven't really felt much change, so I cut myself free, and am using the tools they have provided in me to advance on my own. I know that sounds cheesy, but it's true. Before them, I was a sociophobic lamer. It took a lot, but now, I'm the guy who will willingly make a fool of myself in public, just for fun. A few years ago, I'd be standing against the wall while others have fun. Today, I jump out in the middle of it all.

That leads me into the next point. Every Monday since my birthday (and one Tuesday and a Friday), I've been going out to some clubs. Funny part is that they are goth clubs held in gay bars. I never would have imagined I'd be hanging out in places like that with people like I've been meeting, but it's been so much fun, and the people are freaking great. I've made a handful of friends, and I've had a blast dancing and raving and making a fool of myself. Just last night, we had a freaking glowstick lightsaber war. Four or five of us ran around with glowsticks using them like swords, fighting on the dance floor, running around the bar. It was epic, and it was amazing. That's just one of MANY stories I could share, and I am willing to share them if anyone asks.

Anyway, I've done my update, and I'll definitely update again later. Don't count on it being soon, though I will try. I always "try" to update more frequently, but I get distracted easily. Anyway, hope you are all doing as well as I am. Time to get ready to go out for the night, again.

XKCD STRIKES AGAIN!

Wed, 29 Jul 2009 05:57:08 GMT

Once again, XKCD has taken my life, my exact thoughts, and conveyed it in comic form. Seriously, I've been thinking this way for awhile now, but was kind of afraid to say it. I think once XKCD says something, it's socially acceptable for me to say it. Anyway, here is the comic:

So I haven't yet told the details or stories of my amazing birthday, or anything that has happened since. As of now, I shall continue the semi-silence. I'll just say this much: My life is changing. My 25th year will not just be another year. My 25th year will define me, will start my growth, will transform me. I'll admit that this comic will still ring true. I am a child inside, but I am a child who knows that his life is different now.

This seems like a bold claim, but so far, in my nine days as a 25 year old, I have done things that I never thought I would. If the first nine days have done this much, I can only imagine what the next 356 days will bring.

Thank you and good night.

Birthday Weekend Rundown (EDITED FOR TWITTER TIMES)

Tue, 21 Jul 2009 16:03:06 GMT

(POSTED SIX AND A HALF HOURS LATER BECAUSE XANGA WAS BEING A DOUCHER)

Lots of stories, but it's freaking 5:30 a.m., so I'll give bullets and you can ask me later for details, if you really care.

- Con was lame, but people were cool. Hotel ruined it and people were angry. Met some cool people, hung out, swam, played games, and it was a good start to my birthday. Lots of fun times had despite the problems had with the venue.
- Birthday proper consisted of 10 stops, all documented on Twitter, and will now be copy/pasted for those of you lame enough to not have Twitter:

Birthday Stop 1: Mini-Golf (6:19 p.m.)
Birthday Stop 2: X-Men Origins at the dollar show (7:01 p.m.)
Birthday Stop 3: Pre-Game (10:23 p.m.)
Birthday Stop 4: Back in time! I saw a horse! (11:13 p.m.)
Birthday Stop 5: The Complex! (11:38 p.m.)
Birthday Stop 6: The Dance Floor! (12:39 a.m.)
Birthday Stop 7: The Dance Floor... AGAIN!!! (1:47 a.m.)
Birthday Stop 8: MORE DANCE FLOOR!!! (2:39 a.m.)
Birthday Stop 9: What are these numbers written by these girls' names on this piece of paper? (2:56 a.m.)
Birthday Stop 10: Home after the best birthday of my 25 years, and one of the best nights ever. Thanks Rian, Reno, and Facedown. EPIC WIN. (4:02 a.m.)

Seriously, though, Rian, Reno, and Facedown made for an amazing birthday proper. Birthday weekend was made awesome by the same people plus Scotti, Halloween, Christmas, Jax, Aura, the girl who knew me as "Rick Roll Ronnie" (need to find out who that was), and anyone else who random hung out with me, even for a bit. Also, thanks to Zaira for being awesome and texting me and making me feel even better than I already did.

So thank you all. Best birthday ever. Best birthday weekend ever. I think 25 will be an awesome year for me.

Now, sleep.

Birthday Weekend Rundown

Tue, 21 Jul 2009 16:02:13 GMT

(POSTED SIX AND A HALF HOURS LATER BECAUSE XANGA WAS BEING A DOUCHER)

Lots of stories, but it's freaking 5:30 a.m., so I'll give bullets and you can ask me later for details, if you really care.

- Con was lame, but people were cool. Hotel ruined it and people were angry. Met some cool people, hung out, swam, played games, and it was a good start to my birthday. Lots of fun times had despite the problems had with the venue.
- Birthday proper consisted of 10 stops, all documented on Twitter, and will now be copy/pasted for those of you lame enough to not have Twitter:

Birthday Stop 1: Mini-Golf (6:19 p.m.)
Birthday Stop 2: X-Men Origins at the dollar show (7:01 p.m.)
Birthday Stop 3: Pre-Game (10:23 p.m.)
Birthday Stop 4: Back in time! I saw a horse!
Birthday Stop 5: The Complex!
Birthday Stop 6: The Dance Floor!
Birthday Stop 7: The Dance Floor... AGAIN!!!
Birthday Stop 8: MORE DANCE FLOOR!!!
Birthday Stop 9: What are these numbers written by these girls' names on this piece of paper?
Birthday Stop 10: Home after the best birthday of my 25 years, and one of the best nights ever. Thanks Rian, Reno, and Facedown. EPIC WIN.

Seriously, though, Rian, Reno, and Facedown made for an amazing birthday proper. Birthday weekend was made awesome by the same people plus Scotti, Halloween, Christmas, Jax, Aura, the girl who knew me as "Rick Roll Ronnie" (need to find out who that was), and anyone else who random hung out with me, even for a bit. Also, thanks to Zaira for being awesome and texting me and making me feel even better than I already did.

So thank you all. Best birthday ever. Best birthday weekend ever. I think 25 will be an awesome year for me.

Now, sleep.

Gold Bond? More like OLD Bond.

Sun, 05 Jul 2009 02:07:09 GMT

So I was going to go to the fireworks show in St. Charles tonight, but I couldn't find parking. I drove every single street both ways from Main to Fifth, end to end, and couldn't find a single spot over the span of over an hour, so I turned around and went home. So no fireworks for me, but lucky for all of you, you get a blog post. I know you're all super excited. Don't all comment at once! Right, if I get two comments between Xanga and Livejournal combined, I'll be surprised. I know at least a handful of you read this, but sometimes it just feels like I'm doing this just because it's here, not because I have any purpose to it.

Anyway, I was just thinking "I wonder if Gold Bond powder has an expiration date." I checked the bottle I've been using for awhile now, and it turns out it does. It turns out the expiration date on my bottle was exactly eleven years ago. That's right, on the bottom of the bottle, printed in plain black letters, it says "EXP: 7/98." That means it expired the summer before I started high school. How the crap did I get a bottle of Gold Bond that old? I've been using it for years, just a little bit at a time every so often when I need it, but never really thought of checking the date on it. I think I stole this bottle out of the cabinet at home at some point in college, most likely when living away from home, because it was in my plastic drawers that I've had since I started college. That means when I stole it, it was already at least 4 years expired in our cabinet at home.

I've had so many random stories that I thought "I should post a blog about this," but I forgot most of them. Work sucks, and I hate it and I want to quit, but I'm broke, so that's not a good idea. I was written up for attendance, because I was sick twice, my van broke down for a week, and I skipped for ACen because they denied my request off, even though I asked MONTHS in advance. Only one of those was legitimately wrong. Other people have called in WAY more than me, and as far as I know, they haven't been written up. Anyway, this means I am ineligible for promotion of any kind for one year. I accidentally miss 6 days in 6 months and now I'm screwed from getting a promotion. I was already screwed out of a raise almost 6 months ago because they hired me as "temporary" and that meant I was ineligible for a raise when everyone else got one. They even told me that they DO NOT hire full time cashiers back then, just a month or two before hiring a whole wave of full-timers. I asked to be moved up, and it was denied.

Some GOOD news, however, is that I heard just the other day that the manager that hates me is leaving in two weeks. I don't know who is taking his place, but he or she HAS to be better than this guy. I haven't heard a single person ever say they actually like him. I don't think I know a single person at work who doesn't have a problem with him. Even the other managers don't like him. He is in charge of schedules, and has screwed everyone over on countless occasions (ACen, for example). He has told at least 2 people I know that they should drop some of their classes at school so they can work more hours at Wal-Mart. I've gotten on his bad side on multiple occasions because he made a decision that made no sense, so I corrected it, probably personally making the store run better, and safer (he wanted to leave a single girl cashier in Lawn and Garden, alone, at night), so I went over his head a bit and didn't comply. Now he has me pushing carts 4 out of 5 days I work. I haven't touched a register in 2 and a half shifts (that's 20 solid work hours), even though I was hired as a "Cashier." I ripped off the little tag that says "Cashier" on my name badge, because I was sick of seeing the lies. You know, one of the best parts of him leaving is that now I don't have to put his name on job applications, so he can't give me a bad reference.

God, I could complain about this job all freaking night if I wanted to. I'm sure most of you stopped reading by now anyway. Honestly, I know I would have, and usually do when reading most of your blogs. I'll be honest. I skim and scan at best if a paragraph is over 3 lines long, or if it's over 3 paragraphs in general. I consider myself a hypocrite, because I post long, drawn-out paragraphs of detail, and I hope people actually read it, but unless I'm really interested in something, like if it pertains to ME, I usually skim it and move on. I'm sure in skimming this paragraph, some of you will go back and see what the big deal is, but honestly, there is no big deal. I'd say about... 0% of this post really has any bearing on any of your lives. There is no purpose to this post, other than so I feel better, letting out a bit of frustration. I could just as easily do this to the cats.

The Past is Not Dead, but it Should Be.

Tue, 23 Jun 2009 02:59:25 GMT

Observation: I find it odd, yet completely not surprising, that most of the people I went to high school with seem to still be hanging out with the same group of people as back then. I keep stumbling across people I haven't seen or talked to in upwards of 7 years, and their Facebook pages are all connected to each other, and the pictures they have could all practically be from the same parties, because it's all the same people, over and over again. Don't get me wrong. The few relationships I retain from high school, I do cherish, but it sometimes seems like the majority of my high school still hangs out in the same place with the same people.

I guess that's to be expected from a crappy little redneck area like I grew up in, but looking at all of their profiles, they could practically be interchanged with each other. The majority have been married and/or divorced. I think 99% of them have kids, even the ones who were never married. Even though they all have kids, it seems the majority of their pictures are either at a bar or in a garage or basement getting drunk. However, there is always one full album devoted to their kid, because they are so proud of them and are so happy to have such a beautiful child, even though the father was another one of the redneck douchebags from my high school (or from the nearby one in Potosi) who probably ended up cheating on them with another girl from high school. It's all the same people, and they all know each other, and it's just a web of cheating and babies and alcohol. I grew up in a bad country song, and Facebook is the proof.

I really had no other topics in mind tonight. I just noticed that while looking through pictures and friends lists on Facebook. I've thought this for awhile, but out of boredom, decided to rant about it for a minute. I may be single with a crap job, but I'd prefer this over that anyday. Sure, it'd be nice to be married, or even have a romantic relationship, but it all seems so meaningless, looking through the pictures on Facebook. I'm glad I got out of that hole, even if I am broke, sometimes lonely, barely supporting myself, at least I can say I got out, and I made my own amazing friends, and at least I'm not living how I always said everyone would end up in high school (joking at the time, but apparently dead on).

I'm done with my rant. I just felt the need to say something.